A personal testimony of my spiritual background and call to the pastorate:
Like many unfortunate children in the world, I was born into an abusive home. For the protection of myself and my siblings, my mother left my father when I was 4 to escape the abuse. Unfortunately, that also meant that I grew up without a father and without solid structure. I carried a lot of anger and confusion around with me. Like many adolescents today, I rebelled against most authority figures and subsequently, I got in a lot of trouble in school and in life…
By the time I was 16, I knew all the police in my town by first name and they knew me. I won’t go on in detail to glorify my past sins by elaborating, but point being made, I was a very troubled youth.
Now, through all my troubles, I always had an awareness of God to some degree. My mother always spoke about God (at least in vague terms), so I believed in His general existence. I even believed that I was generally a good person and I would certainly go to heaven when the time came. I didn’t realize how confused I was on the subject…
PAT TOWELL
In hindsight, I believed in God, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him. “I didn’t have time for all of that.” I knew God was someone to be respected… Mom would get on to us anytime we used the Lord’s name in vain, or said something “sacrilegious”, and everyone knew that if you swore to God it was a big deal, but I had absolutely no concept of a relationship with Him.
By time I was about 21, I had more than a lifetime of win racked up and was still convinced I was generally a good person… But fortunate for me, about that time in my life, my older brother came to live with me, because he had lost his job in Alaska. While staying with me, he observed the way that I was living and my complete hypocrisy involving my so-called Christianity.
I don’t remember exactly what spurred him to do it, but one day, my brother burst out in frustration, yelling at me for several minutes, as he told me very abruptly, “You’re not saved! And you better get it right or you’re going to hell!”
I tried to defend myself with the few Bible verses I knew… The problem was, my brother really knew his Bible, and for every verse I could remember (not many), he could remember that many more. I argued that I wasn’t that bad of a person. I was just so angry that he was judging me. I thought “He had no right!” and he was wrong! But to be quite honest, the reason I got so mad was because deep down I knew he was right, and I loved my sin… I didn’t want to give it up. I continued to argue passionately for my defense, but for every excuse I had, he would shoot out another Bible verse to shut me down.
I wanted to be able to defend myself and find out just what did the Bible say about it, so I started to read the Bible, partly hoping to find something I could validate my views to my brother with, and shut him up… Ironically, I didn’t know where to start, so I had to get some direction from him… As I read through the books of the New Testament, the Spirit drew into its pages… John, Acts, Romans, 1/2 Corinthians… I couldn’t put the book down. As I read, I realized just how wicked my life had been, and how I desperately needed Jesus Christ in my life. I don’t remember the exact day or month even, but when I was 21 I poured my heart out to Jesus Christ and I asked Him to forgive me for my sins and to save me (about 15 times or more [I was confused a little]).
I wish I could say that after I got saved everything was smooth sailing, but truth is it wasn’t. I was so excited about my faith, I just wanted to share it with everyone I knew. I knew God wanted me to share my gift, and I wanted so badly to share the word with others. In my heart I desired to be a pastor, but I felt I was not worthy. I didn’t let that keep me from sharing my faith though. I would talk to all my friends and family about Jesus. The problem was no one wanted to hear it; not even my own wife. Over the first six and half years of my Christian life I only led two people to Christ (with help), and my wife was still not saved. I became discouraged and “burnt out”, and I began to “backslide”…
Then circumstances occurred, and the small church I was going to called a new pastor. At first, I was on guard with this guy. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought he looked like a shady car salesman…lol… But I had no idea just how much this man would make a difference in my life. He came to my house one day to talk to me. It really impressed me, because I never had a pastor care enough about me to come and visit… I knew he had a job on top of his pastorate, and the last thing in the world I thought he would do, is take time out of his schedule to drive to another town just to come talk to me…
Over the next few months, this pastor challenge me to grow in my relationship with Christ. I took his challenge and ran with it. God began to work inside of me, and I started to get excited about my faith again to the glory of Jesus Christ. People around me noticed the change, including my family and friends. Then a friend of mine that I had witnessed to for years came to Christ, and one by one my wife, and all my children ACCEPTED CHRIST! PRAISE THE LORD!!!. I was so blessed! I had never seen God work like this before. He was using me to save people I cared about!
That fall, our pastor announced he was going to start a door to door evangelism ministry. I couldn’t wait… I remember asking him every couple of weeks or so, when he was going to start the class. I just knew this was what I was called to do. Once I started the classes, I took to it like a duck to water. I began memorizing specific verses for soul winning and practiced with the same passion I felt about sharing God’s word. Then I began to share the gospel with everyone I had a chance to. My wife’s friends, relatives, and complete strangers… Within the first year I had personally led over thirty people to Christ, and I had helped to lead over 20 more people to Christ! I know it’s not all about the numbers, but I was so excited to God work!
I remember feeling like God was calling me to do something more. I talked to my pastor about bible college and ministry things, but I hadn’t told him that I felt called to the ministry. One day I asked my pastor, how do you really know that you are called to be a pastor. He told me, other than the internal pull he felt, he knew when the other people in his church began to tell him they saw it. Well, I felt the call on my life, but I was afraid to ask others what they thought… What if they thought I was wrong…? Finally, I determined I was going to go to Bible college, and let the Lord determine the outcome. If He really wanted me to be a pastor, then He would make it happen.
One morning at our Men’s prayer meeting, when the prayer requests were being taken, I asked the men to pray for me, because I was going to start school again, and I knew it would be stressful, both financially and time wise. Everyone around the table got really quiet. One of our Elders asked, “You mean Bible college…?” I murmured, “Yes.”
You could have heard a pen drop… I thought for sure everyone there was doubting that it was the right thing to do. The tension was killing me, and I couldn’t stand it, so I asked the table of men, “What’s the deal? Why’d you all get quiet? Do you think I’m making a mistake or something?” I remember the same Elder looked at me very seriously and said, “No, I was thinking about how I could shift money around to help you pay for your college. I want helping you to be one of my crowns when I stand before the Lord.” I felt goose bumps go up my neck, and then one by one the men around the table each told me they all knew it was coming. The Lord used that occasion to confirm to me that I truly did have a call on my life to pastor.
Over the years since that call, God has reshaped my life, and today I am honored to serve Him and the people of Skagit Baptist Church as their Pastor. What a wonderful and mighty God we serve.
Blessings in Jesus Christ,
Pastor Pat Towell